Nice Try

So this is my first attempt at a stream-of-consciousness piece.

I basically just wrote all the things that came to mind, omitting sensory details.

First of all, I admit it was very hard to make this decision.

Have you ever tried to recreate the Promised Land by drinking milk and eating honey?

It's such a struggle for me; honestly every day it's like a battle.

It's amazing how certain people seems so together and high in society but then act like kids.

God made Eve first then Adam and told her he was good in bed and could open jars and was sometimes funny, but Eve had to let him believe he was made first. (Not mine!)

I have a love/hate relationship with spending money.

Why do girls talk so much?

The last time I watched a movie I could have sworn it paused and restarted itself to accommodate my intermittent cat naps.

Why do people think that when two guys are close friends they must be gay?

He flipped me off and I wasn't even in his way.

Why does she always bring up the fact that she does not, in fact, want a bigger house?

Do you ever friend someone, then look through your wall and imagine their interpretations of each post?

She can't figure out why the feminist professor hates her.

People are such hypocrites about tattoos.

I usually don't think redheads are attractive. He's the only exception

You wouldn't believe me, but then you realized I was right— it's hilarious!

Some people like to speak with their heads in the clouds. Theoretically, that is.

Who pays attention to jawlines?

Oh, celibacy! Jesuit colleges rock!

I don't text at night anymore.

Do you ever say something just for the heck of it?

I am not like the girl in "The Ugly Truth."

Is it better to be fast and miserable or slow and content?

I've tried to imagine myself solemnly recalling my "attempted" suicide in an "exciting" testimony.

Do I really need to give everything I have to the poor? Because then I'd have to walk around naked.

Monte Vista needs more down-to-earth teachers.

The pickle jar label says pickles have no calories. And I digested a huge gust of wind

She wants to spend time with me! Makes you feel important

My dad says he likes seeing pretty girls hanging out with homely girls because it shows they're actually friends.

I couldn't wait to turn 16 so I could sing "I Am Sixteen Going on Seventeen."

I don't miss preschool. We had to pop balloons so I cried.

Why do they make dead bodies look pretty?

Don't look into his eyes. He looks into your soul and knows your eternal destination.

I don't hate him. My respect for him simply diminished considerably.

Mark Labberton's book makes me feel guilty for drinking Starbucks.

There must be a way to be exempt from complacency.

Idealism and Facebook are incompatible.

I hope my art history class is interesting.

I talk about him a lot. And no I don't have an Oedipus complex.

Eating lunch alone sucks.