Tonight we had our girls Bible study. It's mostly freshman girls and we're going through the book of Malachi. I joined it because I figured I would meet some close Christian girlfriends, and I'm trying to study the Old Testament and understand it more. Sometimes it's frustrating because I feel like their faith is fairly new. Like the time they were offended when my friend Gabby denied their argument that there are multiple ways to God. I don't want to be comparing my "spirituality" to theirs because that's not why I'm there, but it's hard to respond when we're discussing the crippled and impure animal sacrifices that the Israelites are giving God, and the girls say, "Why would God want to kill a cute little lamb? I thought God was gentle and sweet." Or like when we read the verse "Jacob have I loved; Esau I have hated" they complain, "How could God hate anybody? God is kind and loving." How does one respond to that? But I know something that God has been teaching me lately is to stop comparing my religiousness to that of other people. It's just stupid and totally misses the entire point of Christianity. Paul's advice to "speak the truth in love" is so simple, so profound, and so difficult for me a lot of the time.
God uses the foolishness of this world to bring shame to the wise. There is a girl in Core that is always opening up her most private struggles and dreams to guys and it would bug me so much that she is so cavalier in guarding her heart. But she is also extremely kind to the most rejected people and is unashamed to be a true friend. While I, on the other hand, usually have a hard time doing that because I care too much about what people think of me. She says God gave her a vision about what He wants her to do with her life. And that God speaks audibly to her all the time. So I guess in my self-righteousness and judging I've missed God's voice. Why am I so proud?
I know what you mean. It's hard some times not to feel judgmental when we are having a discussion about praying prewritten prayers in Intro to Christian Doctrine, and there are several people in the class who are earnestly arguing that praying that way is never valid, because unless it's impromptu, it isn't truly from your heart. However, I admire the earnestness of their faith, and I think that the excitement and passion is something I sometimes am not as strong in.
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